Saturday in Chicago

it was sunny on 18th and i had not expected it, worn jeans and boots and found myself with the premonition of sweat forming on my skin. turned then onto state street, heading north, and ducked into the shade of the buildings, enjoying the instant cool and the push of wind off the lake, some blocks off. i smelled him before i saw him, and expected to and did find him, for i had smelled that smell before, dead. he wasnt much of a man, little and worn. set in mismatched blues, sweatshirt and jeans too big and too old, eyes rolled up into his head, mouth open, bereft of breadth. i squatted next to him, put my fingers to his neck and found the absence of pulse i had anticipated.
i stood, taken aback by the vulgar indifference of the cement corner in which he filled, and the buildings so erect that they seemed too to loom over him. i thought then that street noise was a poor eulogy for a life, any life. i did not really know what to do, it was not so much a feeling of helplessness but a sort of stunted confusion. after a moment i went to my pocket for my phone, but almost simultaneously an ambulance turned the corner. the noise of it seemed so disingenuine, the wail of its care so falsetto. the emts tumbled out, within two questions they realized i had nothing to give them, when i asked who called, one kneeling turned back and over his shoulder informed me someone from the building across the street.
having nothing to add or do, i left. continuing down my path on state, turning left onto 16th, changing sides of the road to avoid the sidewalked roped off for repair. two blocks later i came upon a girl, standing as i was to join in doing, to wait for the crosswalk to become available, the light to consent.
she was very pretty i thought, wearing oversized stylish sunglasses, and black leggings that did well on her legs. i was again in the bight morning september light, and she turned to me, looked me up and down, which i caught out of the corner of my eye, and then said ever so casually.
'isn't it a beautiful day?'
i was unable to disagree, but could not bring myself to say anything.